As a member of a Franciscan congregation, I am intrigued that you chose two stories from the Franciscan way of life to expand on discernment!

For Francis and Clare of Assisi, life and prayer were all about seeing and experiencing God’s Goodness in everything, through everything, with everything. They had such a sense of God’s overflowing love penetrating all of creation.

Thus, as a Franciscan, journeying in Francis’ and Clare’s footsteps, discernment is the experience of God’s Goodness and Love. It is about noticing these in every moment of life. It is about feeling what resonates with me most.

Discernment is an ongoing and lifelong process. God speaks to us through people, creation, life events. What is drawing me is to spot God in all of this and to respond to God’s invitation that lies in it. At times, I might need to discern my ministry or some next step in my life. It is my Franciscan stance of gazing, considering, contemplating, imitating (these are the four movement of Franciscan prayer) that guides me on this life long journey.

Who can understand this?

I recently signed up for the Image Journal e-newsletter. The recent issue had a link to your new blog. I had not visited your site for some time, so thought I would check this out. Since I recently decided to become a Benedictine oblate, the topical catagory “monastic stuff” caught my attention first.

So what is discernment like for me? In a word…Alignment. That is, aligning my life with God. I have come to realize that the more I am able to stay in the present moment, the more I try to listen for God’s voice, the more I look for God in ALL that comes my way around me, then the more I am able to discern God’s will for me. Sometimes this seems easy, sometimes not. Most times it is not. For life, with all it’s good and bad, is always diverting my attention, causing me to doubt whether I made the “right choice”. No matter, though, for God will be with me on whatever path I choose.

Grounding myself in Christ – spending time in silence, meditation, prayer, journaling, being attentive, talking with my husband (an ordained ELCA pastor), my dearest friends (who are kindred spirits and soul sisters), and visiting Shirley (an ordained UCC minister, massage therapist, healer, and my spiritual guide) – helps me to see more clearly the path I am to take. Those straight lines of the cross – “crosshairs”, if you will – help me to align myself with God, and in doing that I find the courage and the faith to discern.

I keep three areas of work open for His bidding in hopes that He will call me to one of the other two that I am presently not able to work at full time. I liken this to Francis and Brother Masseo’s dizzying experience in hopes of finding the direction they were to follow. If my best laid plans are waysided I know that He needs me for a different purpose as I try to do His will and not mine. When the decision is right it fits in my life and it is a peaceful transition but not always an easy road. That is where my prayer groups help they are Claire and Sylvester for me.

Each Tuesday and Thursday I “group” with 10 other women as we offer each other prayer support and friendship on our spiritual journey. This support has been invaluable to me this past year as I learn trust, and interdependence in my faith and journey through my humanity to Christ.

Most of all, when I am listening, I hear His intentions in His Word reading the daily scriptures and meditations at the end of my day. This is when I am most aware of how well I have been listening.

Listening and watching along the road for the reason I have been gifted with another way to travel, I often end up where I need to be, but with new insights on the journey.

When I get to a corner in my car and the car ahead turns right – most often I will go left – just because…When I leave home – I know the destination – but seldom the journey to get there!

Rebecca wrote, “I guess it really stems from wanting a clear answer to a question.”

As a young girl, I was a big fan of the “Magic 8 Ball.” Ask it a question, and it would give you an answer. So simple. But not really. In order to get a clear answer, you had to ask a clear question- the kind that could be answered “yes” or “no.” If you asked the Magic 8 Ball any other kind of question, it’s answer wouldn’t make sense. Maddeningly, even when you asked the question correctly, the Magic 8 Ball might still pop up with an answer like, “concentrate and ask again” or “better not tell you now.” This problem of receiving an unclear answer, of course, was easily solved by shaking it again until it gave you the answer you wanted to hear. How convenient.

For me, the process of discernment involves a whole drawn out process of figuring out what my questions really are. I have so many overlapping questions, most of which are unanswerable because they involve the future, not the present. Oh, and they usually involve many factors over which I have little or no control. If I make this decision, take this path, what will that be like for me? For my family? What will it look like, feel like? So, I torture my family and friends and colleagues with questions that are related to, but not always at the heart of, my true questions. Often, their thoughtful responses help me to hone in on deeper questions than the ones that so easily distract me.

I had a chance recently to sit beside a lake for a while. On the surface, the lake seemed perfectly still. “Be still, and know that I am God,” I heard the Spirit whisper. Beneath the surface of that lake, I know that it was anything but still. There was work and movement and life and death, all happening simultaneously. None of which depended on me. All that was asked of me was to be still. And listen. And in listening, know. So simple.

For me, all the sifting and sorting ultimately comes down to this: Do I trust God with the future? Can I let go of the future enough to seek present clarity? Could present clarity be “just enough” sustenance? Am I willing to listen, like one being taught?

Discerning…..I struggle, I wrestle with it, I see all sides, I can’t choose, I pray, I ask friends and family, I read, I make a list, I agonize………but mostly I wrestle with it. Till suddenly (on those blessed occasions) when it just somehow suddenly becomes clear. Usually I end up speaking my decision “by accident” and somehow it just feels right. I think – Hey, I didn’t know I knew that! And afterwards the way appears clear.

So discernment to me would be wrestling. I guess it really stems from wanting a clear answer to a question.

(laughing) I recall a story from early in my career. I was working for a wonderful boss who assigned me many challenging projects. I would occasionally go to his office to ask him a question on how to proceed on some matter or other. We would sit and talk for awhile, I would walk away thinking he had answered my question. Only to find when I got back to my desk….hmmm, no he didn’t. I was embarassed to go ask again so I took the information and made my own decision. This went on for some time. Then one day after one of these occasions I turned around and stormed into his office and declared loudly “You didn’t answer my question! You always do that! It is just a simple question! Why don’t you just answer it!”. He looked up at me and laughed and said “I gave you all the information you need to come up with your own answer. You’ve been doing that perfectly well up to now. So just go do it again”.

One of my biggest life lessons.